40th Days

It’s 40 days since you left us Clara. Monday 17 March 2014 18:58, I gave a nod to doctor to take off the life support equipment and to stop the effort to save you. Coincidentally the clock in our bathroom also stop around that time. 
Doctor had briefed me about the situation outside the ICU room. Before making that difficult decision, i took a closer look at you. When I saw your eyes, I knew that the light has gone to eternity, going home to your creator Allah almighty. I knew that you have gone even before I entered the room. But we’re just trying to save you nak….
You’re very special nak and very strong. Not a single tears drop since we got you to hospital. You didn’t want your parents to worry. We were confident that you are strong and will have speedy recovery. Even that afternoon, you gave us a chance for maghrib prayer without worrying your condition. I am proud of you. Didn’t have the chance to say goodbye. you left us in peace. 
That 1st Jumat prayer after you left, I found your drawings. Subhanallah, you’ve been given the vision and signs that you will leave us. I can feel the emotions in your drawings. Both of your drawings on that used drawing book, the one that I used to teach you on how to use water colour and crayons, have shown us that it was Allah plan to take you home.
My tears will never dry for you nak. I am sad, I am grieving but on the other hand I am happy that you are now in better place than me. You are in God’s hand now. All the events and signs I experienced before you left me, gave me strong believe that Allah has a plan for me, the best one. 
Only time can mend a broken heart. My friends, Don’t judge me and telling me to be strong. I know it however I need my time, and I know when to reach out. 
You are always in my heart, in my prayers, in my mind. Your light keep shining in my heart. It is not goodbye nak. till we meet again in His heaven, Insha Allah. I love you Clara….
#rememberclara #moveon #signs #sad